happiness begins when selfishness ends.

• Me: are you good wednesday? or no D;
• Sasha: should be!
• Me: okies! wednesday then please? ;]
• Me: *:]
• Sasha: no
• Sasha: no correction
• Sasha: just leave it at ;]
• Sasha: hehehehe

• Student: Can you explain that?
• Music theory professor: Explain that? Alright. It's in a minor key..
• Student: OH! Okay!
• Professor: ...I think that's the fastest explanation I've ever given.

Okay now she’s just being cruel (Taken with Instagram)

…my best friend, ladies and gents. (Taken with Instagram)

• Joe: These Twizzler Filled Twists are SO disgusting!!!!
• Me: What are they filled with?
• Joe: ...play dough! I don't know...it's like toothpaste for the damned!

My wittle smart ass (Taken with Instagram)

• Me: I wanna be on this show...maybe if I dress really badly for the next two years, they'll find me and then I can get all new clothes!
• Amy: ...Isn't that what you've been doing...?

• Dad: Are there any other pool games we could play?
• Amy: We could play "toothpick"!
• Dad: What's that?
• Amy: It's where someone throws a toothpick in the pool, and everyone stands outside of the pool and they jump in when they think they see it, and they have to grab the toothpick
• Dad: Oh. I thought we just look at your legs.

So I slept over in Caitlin’s room last night, and when I woke up this morning, I had a a super dry/groggy/deep voice…

Me: Caitlin, listen to my voice HAHAHA

Caitlin: It sounds like you’ve been smoking since birth…

Me: I KNOW! Jeez I sound so weird

Caitlin: I know..what the hell is wrong with you??

Me: I need water!

*I drink water*

Me: There, is my voice better?

Caitlin: Now it sounds like you’ve been smoking for half your life.

I WUV HER ♥

LOLWUT

• Me: Happy Valentine's Day, sista! <3
• Kelly: You too! Celebrate love by eating a shitload of chocolate. Best holiday ever!

• Kelly: I just finished East of Eden, and decided that if we have a son, I want to name him Timshel, so we can call him Tim!
• Me: Or you can name him Timothy and call him Tim...
• Dad: Or just name him Tim...

James: Today in band 3…no 6…no 2…what?